


I Hate Cats But This one Stuck To Me

by Gaybacon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Actual plot, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cat/Human Hybrids, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romantic Comedy, non-crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2019-08-24 04:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16632908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gaybacon/pseuds/Gaybacon
Summary: Kakuzu was walking home from some quick shopping when suddenly he a kitten followed him home, unable to get rid of it he decides to keep it. Wait but it's not just a kitten? KakuHida story. YAOI (but only fluff at the moment) Give it a shot, you might like it... Child!Hidan





	1. Silver

**Author's Note:**

> Finished: June 9, 2017
> 
> Published: June 9, 2017
> 
> == A.N.==
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own the Naruto characters, just the plot for my story.
> 
> Also Kakuzu doesn't hate cats ( I'm just really bad at coming up with titles… :D )  
> This story will definitely be Yaoi, and more importantly KakuHida!
> 
> Leave me your thoughts in the form of a review (pretty please?) and if you liked this please favorite and follow and send kudos. I'll try to update frequently.
> 
> If anyone has any ideas of any direction you guys would like this story to go; please don't be shy and tell me.
> 
> Bye! Thanks for reading this far, I'll hopefully see you in the next chapter.

Kakuzu wondered the empty streets of Canario city as he looked for a place to stay. It had been a long day – actually it had been a long few days. He had been on the move after he skipped town – personal reasons, don't worry about it – and was looking for a different home where he could start anew, where nobody knew him, and where people wouldn't ask too many questions.

He had traveled somewhat of a long distance and so far he found himself employed at a small bar where he probably wouldn't make millions of dollars like he would have liked to – he did love money after all – but he would earn enough to keep himself alive and with a roof over his head.

If only he could just decide what roof though… sigh, all the places he had seen so far were not to his liking, either too small and cramped or too big with wasted space.

Yes he was one man, without any family, but he needed a place where there was room for him to stretch his legs, so to speak.

As Kakuzu was about to give up on his search, his eyes landed on an apartment complex. He decided to give the place a try and see if he could find the right apartment before night fell. After talking to the landlord he decided to give the living space of his dreams – yeah right – a look before agreeing to anything.

It had two rooms, two bathrooms, a living room, a kitchen and that was about it. Simple – probably too much for one person – but it was good enough for him. He would have asked one thing of everything – like only one room and only one bathroom – but the apartment would have turned out to be another cramped one he didn't like so it was better this way.

After getting paid for a months rent in advance, the landlord left Kakuzu to make himself at home. Kakuzu wasted no time in taking his bags to his room and started to unpack, placing the few articles of clothing he had packed in the drawers of a brown dresser that was positioned in one of the corners of the room opposite to the door.

When Kakuzu was done he shoved his suitcases under his bed and headed for the door. He walked out of the apartment and headed to the nearest store with a few dollars in his pockets.

~.~.~.~

It didn't take him too log to find a place that sold instant food. He bought pack of instant cup noodles – a twelve pack which would probably last him a few days – and a pack of disposable forks. As he was paying for the items he saw a packet of beef jerky and decided to buy it.

As he walked down the streets once again he felt a drop of water hit his cheek, it appeared I was going to rain. It was obvious since clouds had been quickly forming since the afternoon but he had been hoping to be able to get back to his apartment before the ran started falling.

Oh well, it didn't matter the rain was just starting and he was only a few streets away from the apartment complex.

The movement from his steps made the plastic bags rustle, the noise was annoying, the streets were deserted and the only noise that accompanied the rustling of the plastic bags was the droplets of water hitting the dirt beneath his feet-

"Meow." Scratch that, now there was mewing. Kakuzu stopped mid-step and looked to the side where he heard the sound come form. He saw a small dirty silver kitten. It had violet eyes, it seemed to be albino, it's mother must have abandoned it because it was albino. Albinism in animals usually means they are either blind or deaf, it seemed this one was deaf considering it looked as if it had been watching him. He clicked his tongue and continued walking.

"Meow." There was that sound again but this time Kakuzu wasn't going to stop and he definitely wasn't going to look back. He hurried his step home, the rain would start pouring any second and he wasn't about to be caught under heavy rain; all he wanted was to eat, was that so bad?

As he unlocked his door and was about to open it, a flash of sliver ran up the stairs headed for his door; it was that stupid kitten again. He removed his hand from the doorknob and glared at the kitten standing in front of his door. He pushed it away from the door with his foot but the kitten just walked over his foot and stood in front of the door waiting. Kakuzu's eyebrow twitched and he decided that he wasn't in the mood for fighting with a stupid little animal.

He looked through one of the plastic bags and pulled out his pack of beef jerky. He frowned as he opened the bag but he knew that the kitten would leave him alone after he fed it. He placed a small handful of the jerky strips on the stairs away from his door and saw the kitten rush to the food. He quickly made his way inside his apartment and locked the door.

~.~.~.~

Kakuzu was slurping his noodles as he was watched TV when he suddenly heard mewing coming from outside his door. His eye twitched in annoyance but he just reached for the remote and turned up the volume of the TV.

'Out of sight, out of mind' he thought to himself as he continued eating his cup noodles. Suddenly there was scratching on his door, "You have got to be kidding me…" grumbled Kakuzu as he placed the cup on his coffee table and headed for the door.

He unlocked it and opened it slowly careful not let the kitten run inside. He cracked the door open slightly and glared a the kitten who immediately started mewing. Kakuzu made the scariest face he could and squatted down to be as close in eye level with the kitten as he could.

"Go away or I will eat you." The kitten looked him straight in the eyes but refused to move, "I don't have any food so you'll be my dinner if you don't leave in this instant." The kitten still refused to move away and just meowed at him.

Kakuzu knew that the annoying little fur-ball wouldn't leave so he just stood up and closed the door once again deciding that this time he should just go to bed and ignore the small pest, he had almost finished his noodles anyway.

"Meow, meow, meow!" the noises produced by the small kitten were accompanied by scratching at the door. Kakuzu sighed as he realized he wouldn't be able to get rid of the kitten by just ignoring it. He headed to he door and opened it. The kitten looked up at him and Kakuzu just opened the door wider.

"Come inside…" he grumbled as he moved aside and let the kitten step inside, "Just one night then you leave." He wasn't fooling anyone the kitten couldn't understand what he was saying but he felt that he would convince himself that he had not just picked up a stray cat if he said it out loud.

~.~.~.~

Kakuzu could have sworn he had seen the kitten smile as it walked into his house. The kitten settled itself at the foot of the couch in his living room in front of where Kakuzu had been sitting as he was eating his noodles. Now that the kitten was there Kakuzu didn't want to move it so he grabbed his cup of noodles and sat on the other side of the couch.

Seeing that the brunette had sat on the other side of the couch, the kitten got up and moved closer to the man.

"Meow." Kakuzu looked down at the kitten.

"What is it now?" Kakuzu put his noodles on the coffee table, giving the small feline all of his attention.

"Meow." Answered the kitten and Kakuzu picked his noodles again.

"Cats don't eat noodles." He slurped the noodles as he looked at the kitten, this time the little fur-ball got up on its hind legs and placed its front paws on Kakuzu's calf.

"I already fed you," Kakuzu didn't know what was wrong with him, maybe he caught something and he was currently dying slowly as his brain decayed. Yep, that was probably it. Otherwise he wouldn't be trying to reason with a small ball of fur that couldn't understand him.

"Meow." This time the silver kitten rubbed its small head against Kakuzu's leg.

"Fine." Kakuzu rose from the couch and walked to the kitchen to grab the bag of beef jerky he had left on the table. He walked back with the bag in hand and raised it up, "this is what you wanted, right?" the kitten meowed as if it had understood him and Kakuzu sat down on the couch. The kitten rushed to him and climbed his pant leg and rested on his lap, eagerly awaiting the meaty treat.

Kakuzu grabbed a strip of jerky and plopped it in his mouth, "You know, I don't have pets for this reason, they eat my money…" the small kitten meowed as if he was asking Kakuzu to continue, "and I don't need company, look at me now; I'm acting crazy… talking to a cat… you can't even understand me." The kitten meowed and licked Kakuzu's lap.

Right, he was going to give the kitten some jerky too.

"Here ya go." Kakuzu reached into the bag and gave the kitten a strip of beef jerky. He held the food between his index and thumb as he fed the little ball of fur. The kitten eagerly ate away the dried meat while Kakuzu watched it and smiled subconsciously. Once the kitten was done eating the meat it licked Kakuzu's fingers and meowed asking for more.

Kakuzu chuckled and gave the kitten a second strip. He was utterly fucked at this point, he knew he was now attached to the stupid little animal and the worst part was that he hadn't even named it yet, but he knew he had taken a linking to the little rat.

Actually scratch that, since he had already decided he would keep the little twerp he might as well name it now.

"I have decided to keep you," after hearing this the kitten stopped eating and licked its whiskers before contently meowing in response, it was now purring, "and now I have to give you a name, now, since I am very unoriginal I'll name you money because you are what you eat and right now you are eating my money." The kitten meowed again but this time sounding displeased and nibbled on Kakuzu's fingers instead of his food, "I'm guessing you don't like it… well its either money or beef jerky; they're both stupid and one of them will be your name so you better chose the one you hate the least; that is unless you can come up with something better." The kitten didn't meow but rather returned to eating.

"Money it is then…"

~.~.~.~

Kakuzu finished feeding the kitten the rest of the strips – except the few he ate himself – and decided to go to bed.

As he got up from the couch and walked in the direction of his room 'Money' decided to follow him. When Kakuzu noticed this he stopped mid-step and turned to the kitten.

"Sorry Money, you sleep in the living room." The silver kitten looked at him funny before it meowed in response, "you can sleep on the couch if you want but my room is off limits." With that said Kakuzu continued with his walk to his room. The kitten stood still for a few seconds before it started following him again. Kakuzu sighed and turned to look at the kitten.

"I said no." his tone was abrasive, he meant business. The kitten meowed, this time lower than it usually did, and walked back to the living room. It jumped on the couch and curled up in a ball.

'If only it had been this obedient when I tried to scare it away…' thought Kakuzu as he walked to his room, he stripped from all his clothes and laid on his bed under the soft covers. Soon sleep consumed him.

~.~.~.~

Kakuzu rose as he felt the annoying orange glow of the sunrise hit his eyes as rays of light made their way through the gap in between his curtains all the way to his closed eyelids.

"Ugh, Mondays…" he grumbled to himself as he ripped the covers off his body and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It actually wasn't a Monday, it was Tuesday morning at the moment but he felt like saying Monday because everyone hates Mondays.

Kakuzu walked stark naked through the short hallway in his apartment and into his restroom, he took a morning piss and stepped into the shower. After showering he realized he had forgotten to bring a towel.

"Shit…" was all he thought of saying before he walked out of the shower and into the cold hallway – now not only naked now but also wet – leaving stupid little puddles behind him with every step he took; great, he'd have to clean that up later.

Now in his bedroom Kakuzu found a towel and dried his body with it before he wrapped the towel around his hair keeping the hair off his face and shoulders. He looked stupid with the towel wrapped around his head like that but it kept his floor and body dry so whatever.

Kakuzu found some pants a shirt and a pair of boxers he could wear, today he had work but it didn't start until later. He had woken up at five in the morning and his shift started at eight so he had time to kill. Now he had 'Money' so he could kill time by playing with the kitty or something, people kept pets because of that right?

"Hey Mone-", Kakuzu walked barefooted through the small hall towards his living room, he stopped in his tracks as he saw a small naked figure curled up in a ball sleeping on his couch.

He approached the figure cautiously, it was a small child, a boy. His hair was a sliver color and his skin was very pale. As he moved closer, the small child stirred threatening to wake up.

Kakuzu was unsure whether he wanted the kid to wake up so he could ask him what the hell he was doing in his house  _ **naked**  _and sleeping on his couch, or if he wanted to pretend that he was hallucinating and go back to bed hoping the kid would be gone by the time he woke up.

Or maybe he was dreaming and would soon wake up not having to ask a naked little kid what he was doing in his house, yes, maybe he was dreaming and should go back to bed and wake up and it would turn out there wasn't a little kid in his apartment; yes that seemed logical, actually like the most appealing because maybe this was just a figment of his imagination.

As Kakuzu was moving away from the sleeping figure the child stirred again, only this time he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, looking momentarily startled by his surroundings before he smiled at Kakuzu.

He tilted his head slightly to the right wondering why the brunette looked so horrified, also, why did he have that stupid piece of clothing – was it maybe a shirt? – wrapped around his head? The child snickered but then realized, he had snickered, his mocking smile soon found itself erased.

'Crud.' The small child thought to himself.

"Who are you?" was all Kakuzu could bring himself to ask as he saw slight panic begin to show in the small kid's eyes.

"My name is Hidan…" answered the silver haired kid quietly before he shyly smiled at the brunette, "well that was until yesterday, now I'm 'Money' apparently… unless you like my real name better."


	2. Noodles

"My name is Hidan…" answered the silver haired kid quietly before he shyly smiled at the brunette, "well that was until yesterday, now I'm 'Money' apparently… unless you like my real name better."

"Money?" Kakuzu said out loud unable to process things properly. Money was the albino – possibly deaf – kitten that he had picked up yesterday. Not this little naked child! He had decided he would take care of a  _cat_  not a  _child_ , this was so wrong!

"Look kid, I don't know what kind of sick joke this is but you need to get out of my apartment and put some clothes on, capisce? " the grin Hidan wore was quickly gone after hearing those words.

"Is it because I look like this?" asked Hidan feeling hurt in an angry tone, "I can change back if I look so bad!" and as he had said he could, Hidan changed back into the small silver kitten Kakuzu knew.

"What? How is this even possible?" Kakuzu was dumbfounded by the turn of events, "you were a kitten, not a kid…" there was nothing else he could do but stare, there was no explanation to justify what had just happened. He could have never seen this coming. How did piking up a kitten turn out like  _this_?

"Meow." Answered Hidan as he looked up to Kakuzu angrily, he knew he wouldn't understand but he didn't expect him to say such hurtful things without giving him a chance to explain first.

"I can't understand you." Tried to reason Kakuzu as he tried to run his fingers through his hair, a habit he had developed when facing stressful situations. His fingers, however, were stopped by the towel covering his hair.

Hidan shifted back into a human, a small scowl present on his face. This wasn't how this was supposed to go, he wanted to surprise the brunette after they had lived together for a while, that way he would have taken things better. But now he was in a mess he'd rather not be in.

"Why won't you make up your mind, I thought you didn't like me as a human." Hidan felt so frustrated, he didn't like dealing with humans, all the encounters he had with them in his human form had so far turned for the worst.

"Its not that," Kakuzu removed the towel form his head, a frown on his face, "I just don't appreciate nudity, especially even less in children…" Kakuzu approached Hidan and picked him up from the couch, he wrapped the child with the towel as he bended over for better access, "Sorry if its damp."

"It's also cold…" muttered Hidan, now less angry but still not forgiving the brunette. He looked less stupid without the cloth – he wasn't sure what it was – around his head, but he still looked stupid, yup stupid and mean.

"Why didn't you leave if you can understand me?" asked Kakuzu, he had threatened the kitten after all. He sat down next to Hidan who looked upset, he really couldn't blame him.

"What do you mean?" Hidan was shivering slightly as he felt the damp towel against his naked skin.

"I said I was going to eat you." Kakuzu looked at Hidan seriously.

"You didn't mean it." Hidan looked up to the brunette as seriously as the other looked at him.

"Of curse I didn't." it was obvious he wouldn't eat a small kitten, he just wanted to say something that would scare the small fur-ball away.

"Then?" questioned Hidan trying to see how much further he could stall the subject and convince the man to let him stay.

"It was meant to make you go away."

"But I didn't."

"Why didn't you." If it had been Kakuzu he would have left, so why didn't the kitten leave like it should have.

"Because, you weren't aggressive and you even fed me." Kakuzu's eyes widened a fraction for a second before they returned to normal.

"Anyone else would have done the same if you pestered them like you did to me."

"No they wouldn't, a guy tried throwing boiling water on me." Hidan was serious, this was the first human that had shown him kindness in that way.

"That sounds awful." Kakuzu didn't know what else to say, it sounded bad but it wasn't impossible to believe. Just as there are good people there are also bad people, not everyone would help a stray kitten and not everyone would turn a blind eye. There were always those people who would harm animals just because they could.

"Well, people are awful; that's what I've learned so far." Hidan smiled at Kakuzu, "well, except you."

"Why did you lie to me." Kakuzu couldn't have the kid saying things like that now that he knew he had to get rid of him, it would make things harder.

"I didn't." Hidan's smile vanished and he became serious once again. Why was it so hard for the brunette to just let him stay?

"You didn't tell me you were human." If he would have known he wouldn't have let him in and he wouldn't have fed him, he could have found another home with someone better if he tried hard enough.

"I'm not." He knew he wasn't; humans were different form him, they had different mindsets and were biologically different.

"Then what are you." Well he knew he wasn't human, but he didn't exactly fit the cat category either since he could control changing into a cat and into a person. Kakuzu had never heard of anything of the like; well actually about anything like that actually happening in real life.

"Its hard to explain with fancy words but I'm a cat and human, except I'm not a hybrid. Hybrids are a mix of things and I'm not." His mother had explained this to him with fancy words but he couldn't remember all she had said, he just remembered the word hybrid and what it meant because it sounded cool.

"Right… well, you know I can't keep you…" they were getting off topic and he needed to steer the conversation in the direction it was actually supposed to be headed.

"Then you lied to me last night." Hidan's voice was low and his expression hardened, the words coming from the man who was supposed to help him stung him; did he dislike him so much that he wasn't willing to give him a chance?

"I didn't… I just didn't know you were human last night." Kakuzu sighed, "I can't afford to keep a child." Kakuzu didn't want to deal with having to explain this to a hard headed child.

"Please don't kick me back into the streets it sucks out there." Hidan's expression softened into a saddened one.

"I can take you to an orphanage, they take kids in and give them to families that want children."

"You wouldn't be the first one to try…" anger rose again in the child once again, triggered by those stupid words.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, another thing I've learned so far is that adults don't respond well to naked children. Men pretend they didn't see anything while women panic and tell me that they can't take me in but they will take me to a place where there are other children I can make friends with and where I won't have to be hungry or in the need of shelter." Hidan remembered their annoying loud voices, they didn't care for him and wanted to send him to a hell hole, "they would cover me with their coats and try to take me to that place, whatever its called." Just like you're trying to do right now, were the words Hidan left unsaid, he was upset at the brunette.

"Well, I can't keep you." Kakuzu's expression seemed somewhat pained but he really didn't have any other options.

"Why not?" Hidan's eyes were pleading but his face seemed to convey angry emotions, maybe he was feeling fear, was it fear of rejection? That seemed something stupid considering he had been alone for a few days until now. But no matter how he looked at it, it still hurt.

"I can't afford to feed us both and I can't take care of you either."

"But you promised… and, it wasn't a problem when you thought I was a cat!" tears were forming in the small child's eyes, this scene was tugging at Kakuzu's heart strings but he couldn't let himself be swayed so easily; if he put common sense into his situation then he could tell that there was no way in hell this would work.

He was running low on funds – he had only brought with him a specific amount of money after all – and today was the first day of his job, he didn't even know if he was gong to keep it. He wasn't in a stable situation therefore he couldn't keep the kid.

"I know what I said, but back then you were a cat, not a kid; I can afford to keep a  _cat_  but not a  _kid_." Kakuzu tried to lay it down on the kid as gently as he could but the kid always managed to change the direction their conversation was going. Shit, he had a weak spot for kids.

"What if I stayed a cat then."

"No." steeling his heart seemed like the best option. If he didn't he would give in and end up in deep shit.

"Please, I can stay a cat and I'll eat nasty cat food and if you want you can buy me a litter box although I think it could be better if I just used the restroo-" Hidan's words were rushed as he tried to explain everything he could to get the man to see things his way but he got interrupted before he could finish.

"Enough," Kakuzu's voice cut through the others rambling, strength backing up his voice, "I can't keep you, understand where I stand; I can do nothing for you." Kakuzu's vice showed his seriousness but Hidan wouldn't let the brunette have the last word.

Hidan looked at the floor as he clenched his fists, the tears that were swelling in his eyes made the floor look blurry and his eyes sting. Everything seemed to be going by agonizingly slow and it hurt to have the only thing he had slip from his small fingers.

"Why do you have to push me away?" Hidan's voice was low but it was loud enough to hear in the empty house, he paused as he took a breath to try to compose himself as heavy tears raced past his eyelashes and down his cheeks, "you know I have nowhere to go, so why… why do you have to push me back into the streets?"

"Look, kid, I-"

"Why can't I stay?"

"I already explaine-"

"Please," Hidan looked up to meet Kakuzu's eyes as tears kept spilling, "Let me stay, I'll promise to stay out of the way, I just… don't want to be alone at night…" Kakuzu's heart clenched, this kid wasn't really giving him any options.

"Fine you can stay…" Hidan's eyes immediately brightened up after he heard those words come out of the brunette, "but," Hidan's stomach dropped slightly, "I have work in about an hour and I won't be back until late." Kakuzu smiled lightly and now it was Hidan's turn to smile too. Kakuzu placed a hand on Hidan's head and he ruffled the boy's hair.

"But you'll be back, right?" questioned Hidan just to make sure the other wasn't just planning on ditching him.

"Yes." Yay!

"And I can stay, right?"

"Yes, again." Another yay!

"Then, there's no problem." Hidan hadn't noticed but he had been shivering all this time after he had received the towel from the brunette.

"Alright, but stop shivering."

"But its cold and the cloth thingy is wet!" Kakuzu chuckled and got up, slowly walking away, "Hey, where are you going?" Kakuzu walked at a leisurely pace leaving Hidan behind.

"Well since you're going to stay and you'll probably get sick from that cold wet towel, I'm going to my room for some clothes," Hidan moved away from the couch and walked behind Kakuzu holding the piece of cloth against his body as to prevent it from falling off, "I don't have any clothes that are your size but I think a shirt would be fine." Kakuzu walked into his room and looked through one of his drawers for a shirt for the kid. He turned with the shirt in hand only to find the albino waiting outside his room's door.

"What's wrong?" Kakuzu moved towards Hidan.

"Off limits, remember?" Hidan grinned when Kakuzu made an unimpressed face.

"Right…" he took the towel form the kid and offered him the shirt, "put this on."

"Alright." Hidan took the shirt form Kakuzu's hands and struggled to put it on.

"You're a mess…" whispered Kakuzu as he took the shirt from the kid and put it on for him.

"I'm not used to putting on shirts, ok?" Hidan pouted as he stood at the doorframe, the shirt the brunette had given him was indeed too big on him. It fit him like a dress, the sleeves went past his elbows and the shirt pooled on the floor, only his toes peeked from under the fabric.

"Yeah, sure."

"But I'm not!" protested Hidan, he really wasn't, what part of naked didn't he get?

"I know." Kakuzu moved past the kid and walked to the kitchen, Hidan followed as he scowled, the shirt was too long and he was sure that if he tripped he would fall and break his head open, "so tell me, can you eat human food?" Hidan stopped scowling and looked up.

"Huh?" he wasn't paying attention to the brunette and had completely missed what the other had said.

"Don't 'huh' me, can you eat human food?" Hidan's brain was a little slow to process what the other had meant by that. He was still a little numb from the earlier events.

"Yeah."

"Then we're having instant noodles for breakfast."

"Cool."

"Go watch TV, I'll be there when the food is done."

"What's a TV?" asked Hidan and Kakuzu sighed, 'Right he's a cat…' he moved to the living room and picked up the remote from the coffee table.

"That's a TV," said Kakuzu as he pointed at the television, "and this is a remote, you use it to turn on the TV and change the channels and other things."

"Cool."

"Yeah." Kakuzu sat on the couch and turned on the TV he flipped trough the channels until he found something to watch, "I don't know what kids watch these days but I think this might be it." Kakuzu left the TV in a channel that was showing cartoons for kids. He got up and went to the kitchen to prepare the instant cup noodles. Hidan followed the brunette into the kitchen.

"Hey I just realized something!" piped up Hidan as Kakuzu started boiling water.

"What is it?" asked Kakuzu as he turned around and leaned against the counter next to the stove.

"You haven't told me your name."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I told you mine but you didn't tell me yours."

"My name is Kakuzu." Kakuzu didn't really see why this was relevant but he played along.

"Cool, Kakuzu… Kakuzu… Kakuzu… sounds easy but I'll call you old man." Hidan grinned and Kakuzu smirked.

"Alright, then I'll call you beef jerky." Kakuzu's smirk widened when he saw the horrified look in Hidan's face.

"No wait I take it back!" Hidan was spluttering, it was a truly endearing sight.

"Alright, beef jerky…" Kakuzu couldn't help but to tease the boy.

"Hey! I said I take it back!"

"Alright." The water was boiling at this point and it was ready to be poured into the cups.

~.~.~.~

"Wow did you see that! That ro-ro…" Hidan was having trouble finding the right word to describe the metal human but he was too excited to not try.

"Robot." Helped Kakuzu and Hidan grinned.

"Yeah, robot, that robot got smashed by that other robot!" Hidan had never seen something like that, it was totally cool, he had no idea how Kakuzu was not freaking out about it like he was.

"Mh." It was amusing seeing Hidan acting like that, he had forgotten what it was like to be a kid.

"And that light!"

"Laser." Corrected Kakuzu helping Hidan find the right words to describe what he saw.

"Yeah, that laser just totally hit that other robot!"

"Mhm."

"Oh, did you see that too?!"

"Yes." Kakuzu was bored, he looked at the clock, '7:25, better get going…'

"Aw, why does it have to be interrupted?"

"Those are commercials." There was an advertisement for paper towels playing on the TV.

"What are they for?"

"They advertise things people want to buy."

"Why?"

"Because its their job."

"What's a job?"

"Getting paid money to do something."

"Oh," Hidan nodded smiling, "I don't get it." Kakuzu looked at him unimpressed, but shrugged Hidan's comment off.

"Don't worry about it." Kakuzu got up and walked to the kitchen to throw away his empty cup, "speaking of jobs… I have to get to mine so you're staying here until I get back."

~.~.~.~

"I'm going to my job, I don't get home until late so you can watch TV all day or something; just keep yourself busy, don't go outside or open the door if anyone knocks, if anything happens just pretend to be a cat."

"What time do you get back?"

"I'll be back at five, I'd tell you to make yourself more noodles for lunch but you can't use the stove."

"But I saw you do it!" Hidan could totally use the stove, it was so easy; he just had to turn that circle thingy and fire would come out of that other metal thingy and-

"I don't want you to burn down the apartment so the stove is off limits and only I can use it."

"Ok." It was disappointing to see Kakuzu didn't have faith in him but it was ok, he could be a good boy and wait until Kakuzu gave him permission.

"When I get back I'm going to buy you clothes and food. Now that you're here I can't let you just live off that 'instant' crap."


	3. Bar

Kakuzu walked down the street heading to his job. He wasn't sure if he should have left the kid all alone but it wasn't like he could've taken him to work with him. Maybe he could bring him some food during his lunch break or something. Hopefully Hidan listened to him and wouldn't try using the stove, he could really hurt himself and even set the apartment on fire, he definitely didn't want either of those things to happen.

~.~.~.~

Kakuzu walked to the bar noticing that it hadn't opened yet. Well, he had arrived on time so something might have been wrong. He looked through a window to see if anyone was inside.

The lights were off and the door was locked. All he could do was wait for someone to arrive and open up the bar.

He leaned against the wall next to the door waiting for his boss to arrive – or anyone who could open the door and let him in for that matter.

He closed his eyes as he waited, it felt bizarre to be waiting outside of a bar so early in the morning, it was likely that any by passers would assume he was some drunkard or something.

"Sorry for the wait," Kakuzu opened his eyes and looked to the side only to find an orange hared man approaching him. Realizing it was his boss he removed himself from the wall he had been leaning against and straightened himself. The man smiled at him slightly as he dug through his pocket for his keys, "I'm glad to see you're here early, Itachi should get here any moment."

Kakuzu walked into the bar after Pein as the man turned on some lights and placed the keys in his hand back into his pocket. Kakuzu didn't know who this 'Itachi' was but it was safe to assume he was a coworker or something alike.

Kakuzu didn't know what to expect would happen now since it seemed that the bar still wasn't open – probably due to it being early in the morning, most people didn't even get up this early in the morning… – was he going to get to work right away? Would he help with cleaning up or something?

"Excuse me, what do I need to do now?" it was always awkward starting a new job because you don't really know your employer – except that your job probably depends on rather if they like you or not – so its always hard to make small talk. Pein seemed nice enough tough so that was good, he was pretty young looking too so maybe that's why he owned a bar. He didn't have any information on him, he only knew his physical characteristics but he seemed trustworthy enough so he would just go with the flow and relax a little, his hunches where yet to be wrong.

"We'll just wait until Itachi arrives, he is the one that will be in charge of your orientation." Pein walked through the bar to the end farthest from the door. At the moment Pein seemed professional yet slightly awkward, it was probably due to having new employee he knew relatively little about; he seemed to be a really friendly guy though, maybe he would relax eventually after Kakuzu worked for him longer. It seemed he wasn't the only one on edge.

"He should be here any second now." With that said, Pein left him alone in the bar as he went into a small room Kakuzu assumed to be an office.

'So much for "we'll" I guess.' Kakuzu thought to himself as he pulled one of the chairs off one of the tables and placed it down to have a seat.

It looked like he would be the only one waiting for the other guy to arrive. Well, it was better than having to try to make awkward conversation with his new boss.

~.~.~.~

About two minutes passed – which seemed like an eternity to Kakuzu – when suddenly a black haired guy walked into the bar. Before this happened Kakuzu tried killing time by studying the interior of the bar.

The place was painted a pleasant crimson color with nice pop art paintings in certain areas of different walls. The bar's counter was black marble and so were the tiles on the floor along with the tables, the alcohol on the shelves was displayed meticulously making the bottles filled with colorful liquids pose as a charming mosaic. The bar looked sophisticated, and Kakuzu wasn't a interior designer but he could tell that the place was well decorated, the bar was simple yet elegant; there weren't too little or too many elements in the place, it was an appealing look; now that he looked at the place it really seemed top notch.

"I'm home!" announced the raven as he walked through the door, a grin on his face as he awaited a reply from his red-haired boss. His eyes were glued to his smartphone's glowing screen as he swiped at it with his thumb. It seemed he hadn't noticed Kakuzu sitting at one of the tables.

"Yeah, yeah! Get to work Itachi, he's been waiting for you!" called out Pein from his office as he rolled his eyes. He was shopping online for alcohol to take care of restocking for the following month.

'Huh?' Itachi thought to himself as he moved his gaze from the bright phone screen to his surroundings, it didn't take more than a second before his eyes landed on a tanned brunette patiently waiting for him to notice his presence.

Kakuzu's emerald green eyes met Itachi's obsidian eyes and for a second he found himself captivated by the crimson hues he distinguished among all the dark pits of his eyes – maybe it was too early in the morning and he was hallucinating things, or maybe the red lights of the room were reflecting off his black eyes but his eyes were truly mesmerizing. When he finally snapped out of his momentary haze he got up from his seat and approached the raven. He held out his hand waiting for Itachi to shake it.

"My name is Kakuzu." Now that he was closer to the other male he could see the details in the other's face, he had pronounced stress lines on each side of his nose under his eyes and his skin was really white and unblemished, a total contrast with his jet-black hair.

"My name is Itachi, as you probably know already." Itachi shook Kakuzu's hand accepting the handshake. There was something about those emerald pools that made him fell as if he was being scrutinized, maybe he felt that way because it was his first time meeting his new coworker, "Pein might have already told you, but just in case, I'll be in charge of your orientation." Kakuzu nodded as Itachi put his phone in his jeans back pocket, "can you wait here a second? I need to change into my work clothes." Kakuzu nodded again and sat down.

~.~.~.~

A few minutes later Itachi returned wearing his bartending attire. The white elbow-length sleeve button up shirt he was wearing with a red tie was nicely put together with a black vest and black slacks. The kid looked good, but Kakuzu was starting to feel that he was surrounded by too many dark colors…

"Sorry for the wait, I'm supposed to show up already dressed up but I like bugging Pein, he has a few spare rooms in here so I have a few of my clothes here and I find it easier to just change here; besides after a few weeks Pein stopped giving me dirty looks." Itachi chuckled and Kakuzu found this amusing, when he first saw Itachi walk through the door he thought he would be very quiet but after he had seen his interactions with Pein and the way he talked he knew the guy was still a teenager – so to speak, early twenties – and happy with his job. So maybe his work environment wasn't going to be as stiff as he had initially thought it would be.

"Your outfit for today is appropriate, it doesn't really matter what you wear as long as you look good in it; also make sure your shoes are comfortable since you'll be on your feet all day." Kakuzu was dressed in a black sleeveless turtleneck and slim jeans that hugged his hips accompanied by construction boots, "The costumers can't see your feet from the other side of the counter so you can actually wear sneakers even if they don't match you attire. I recommend that they are non-slip and comfortable, they will be a big help. With that said your appearance is important; now that you started this job I recommend that you start getting manicures and you eyebrows waxed regularly, I know that you're a guy but trust me, it makes a difference when you receive tips." Getting his eyebrows waxed and manicures didn't sound appealing to Kakuzu but if that meant he would get more money out of it he would do it – with only mild complaining.

"Is that it for clothes and appearance?" asked Kakuzu as Itachi took a seat next to him.

"Since we got time I'll explain all the aspects of this job I can remember, if any questions pop up as I go don't be afraid to ask."

"Alright."

"For this job there are many things you are selling, we start with you appearance, you need to be appealing; I've noticed – since you are wearing that sleeveless turtleneck – that you have well defined muscles, it would suit you to wear tight fitting shirts that show off your body a little and tight pants that give off some sex appeal – as long as you're comfortable of course – and I cant stress enough the thing about the shoes, no one will see them but you, it's fine if they don't match your clothes. You're working with liquids in a limited area, some will be spilt and we don't want you slipping on something and dying." Itachi chuckled and Kakuzu made an unimpressed face, "a girl decided to wear flip flops after we told her she could use any shoes she wanted since standing all day would be tiring, she decided to wear them and slipped on some scotch and well she didn't die – obviously – but she hurt herself; moral of the story, don't wear shoes you can slip in." Itachi could remember that day perfectly, he felt bad for the girl.

"Now, speaking of spilling liquids, that happens frequently so we recommend to use dark colors, if you wear a white shirt and spill something on it, it will get an ugly and noticeable stain on it and you have to work with those clothes all shift long – unless you bring an extra shirt, which honestly seems like too much, but if that doesn't happen to be the case just save yourself the trouble and stay away from white unless you're an expert. Another thing to remember is short sleeves, you don't want anything baggy or going past your elbow; the cloth will get caught on bottles, glasses, etc. and you'll cause yourself trouble you could have avoided, especially since they'll get stained and sticky from all the different kinds of liquid." It wasn't easy being a bartender but once you got used to the basic rules, everything happened naturally and it was fun.

"You said something about selling many things?" Kakuzu was somewhat confused, he thought bartending was just about selling drinks – it seems he had underestimated what bartending was as a whole.

"Right, well, apart from people wanting to be served by pretty people, they will either want someone to talk to or to flirt with – its not completely uncommon – and on rare occasions, they don't want to talk they just want their drink. You need to be able to listen to what costumers say and remember a few details from the regulars and even flirt a little yourself – that is if you want good tips. Speaking about flirting, you'll get hit on by women and in some cases men as well, all you need to do is play along just a little. Make sure to politely let them know you don't want to take them to bed, unless that is what you actually want to do. In that case, that is your business since we don't have a specific rule on dating costumers being off limits – it would be like telling a supermarket employee they can't date any of the costumers. Anyway, now if a costumer is too pushy and it gets to the point you feel like you are getting harassed we'll help you out, bars are a place where people have a good time and we want you to have a good time here as well. Now, speaking of a good time, sometimes costumers will ask you to have drinks with them in which case you should probably ask Pein about that, I'd rather not drink while I'm working since I'm supposed to be here working and offer an experience and not to give a show because of getting shit faced, but that's just me, on some occasions though I will drink with the regulars."

"What else do I need to know?"

"Well after that, the most important part is actually serving the alcohol."

~.~.~.~

It took the rest of the time they had before the bar opened for Itachi to try to give Kakuzu the most advise he could and show him some basic drinks he would be serving.

While Kakuzu did know  _some_  things about alcohol he wasn't a heavy drinker; therefore he didn't know all of the names of every alcohol invented and every drink ever made, much less about all the different glasses there were and certain common terms that were used to order drinks.

Thankfully for him Itachi was nice enough to explain thoroughly all the basics he could remember. He talked about the different glasses and their purposes and the different drinks and the basic recipes for the concoctions.

It was somewhat hectic to take in all the information but Itachi had said that with practice everything would come automatically so he trusted the raven's words.

~.~.~.~

The minutes seemed to pass by incredibly slowly as they had opened the bar. No one had come in and Kakuzu was starting to wonder if this was normal. Itachi didn't seem fazed by this at all, so maybe it was normal.

Instead of lazing around Itachi busied himself with wiping glasses. Kakuzu followed suit deeming it was better rather than just standing around doing nothing. The silence enveloping them was comfortable, but Kakuzu had some questions that maybe could help him with his little problem at home – and no, he wasn't an ass, he wouldn't ask Itachi: "Hey do you want a cat?" but rather…

"Hey Itachi do you know how to take care of a kid?" Kakuzu said it seeming uninterested in the subject trying to at causal. Immediately after hearing those words Itachi's eyes brightened up.

"Actually I do, I have a younger brother; his name is Sasuke, he's four years younger than me." Itachi loved his little brother so much; he was so cute always calling him 'nii-san' and depending on him, although recently he had stopped that and started acting rebellious. It broke Itachi's heart but he would be strong, he would be there for his little brother and always have his back, "he used to be so small~…" it looked like Itachi started to daydream about his little brother so Kakuzu allowed his co-worker to dwell on his memories – or something, he didn't know – for a moment before he politely interrupted him trying t continue with what they were discussing.

"What do kids like?" asked Kakuzu as he wiped a rocks glass.

"All kids are different depending on how they are raised… do you have anything specific to ask about what kids like? For example food, or maybe toys…"

"Let's go with food." Damn, Kakuzu didn't remember being a kid actually being so complex. He just remembered it being like a little animal: eat, sleep, and go to the restroom – with some playing around somewhere in there. Maybe he was just a simple kid.

"Well, some kids like sweet things others don't. I love sweet things but Sasuke doesn't, its really all about the person. The thing about food is about taste, but with kids sometimes you cant let them eat only the things they like. The human body needs 20 essentials amino acids, our body makes ten and we have to acquire the other 10 through food." Kakuzu was drawing a blank. What the hell was Itachi talking about?

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I was just messing with you; Sasuke gets annoyed when I use big words to explain non complex things so I thought it would be funny…"

"Right…"

"Kids don't really need anything special they just need to be fed, preferably healthy things and not too much candy if they're the hyper kind." Pein walked out of his office with a bag of chips and sat at the counter, "Pein what do you know about little kids?"

"Since today seems to be a slow day I'll play along. Lets see…" Pein leaned the bag of chips forward to offer some to Itachi and Kakuzu, "They need a lot of attention and have lots of energy." That was something Kakuzu hadn't thought about…

"How do you deal with that?" Itachi took a chip and started chewing.

"You take them outside – to a park or a place of the like – and find a way to exhaust all of their energy. Then when they're all tired either give them books to read, colors and papers or stick them in front of the dumb box." Pein didn't have siblings but he did have younger cousins he would often babysit so he knew how to deal with kids.

"How do you do it?" Itachi took another chip and plopped it into his mouth as he listened to the conversation.

"Well if its more than one kid, you make contests; I used to get my younger cousins to race each other and promised ice cream to whoever was the victor. By the time we went back home they all dropped like flies and the ones who survived would sit in front of the TV watching cartoons while I read." This time Pein took a chip and ate it.

"What about one kid?"

"Oh that's easy," Itachi talked this time, "it's the same thing Pein said but there are less kids, if you take the kid to the park they'll probably make friends so they will run out of energy quickly and they'll cause less trouble for you." Pein nodded in agreement to what Itachi said. Kakuzu wanted to laugh, kids seemed to be like pets or something, the only difference was that they talked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, little kids are not little animals (yes they are, lol) you need to care for them properly and they are super smart – so they figure out ways to torment you or embarrass you, like saying the cuss words you tell them not to copy…
> 
> Second of all, this chapter was super hard to write. I realized I don't know jack shit about bartending so good job to any bartenders out there, keep up the hard work. I had to do lots of research and still this chapter was really vauge and kind of half assed, so I'll just stick to the raising Hidan part of this story mostly (unless anyone would like to help enlighten me with information on bartending to make this story feel a little more real).
> 
> Ok, now that my little (yeah right) rant is over…
> 
> Thank you for reading this far and leave me a review pretty please and show me some love by favoring and following this story. Drop some kudos, it's just a button away (:p)
> 
> See you in the next chapter! Bye! *Kisses*


	4. Lunch

Kakuzu walked home in a slight rush, his lunch break wasn't too short but he needed to do lots of things with the time he had, it was better if he hurried home. He was really hoping Hidan hadn't done anything stupid while he was gone.

~.~.~.~

"Hey, you still alive?" called out Kakuzu as he opened the door of his apartment. As he put his keys in his pocket he closed the door behind him and looked around the living room. The TV was still on but Hidan was nowhere to be seen. Kakuzu wondered where the boy could have gone but decided to go make food first, he would look for him afterwards.

As he set the steaming cups of noodles on the kitchen table he looked around the living room for Hidan. He couldn't find him there, he had expected the kid to be hiding under the couch but when he looked for him under the couch the small white kitten was not there. He looked in the hallway but he wasn't there either, when he looked for Hidan in the guest room he wasn't there either. Maybe the kid was in the bathroom?

"Hidan are you in there?" he asked out loud as he knocked on the restroom's door but received no response. He opened the door of the restroom to take a look, maybe the kid fell asleep in the toilet? Lucky for him Hidan wasn't asleep on the toilet but now there was only one place left for him to look for the little kid.

He decided to take a look in his room, maybe the kid was in there for some reason. As he cracked the door open he peeked in, and as he had thought, Hidan was there. A small silver kitten was sleeping on his bed, the shirt he had lent Hidan was covering part of the kittens body. As he neared the sleeping kitten he could see the small kittens torso expand and contract with every breath, Hidan looks so cute and delicate. Kakuzu almost aw-ed at the sight of Hidan's small silver ear twitching. Part of him didn't want to wake up the sleeping kitten, but they both needed to eat, so, he woke up the little fur-ball.

He shook the small kitten gently, the silver fur smooth to he touch under his fingertips, soon the kitten started purring but didn't wake up. Deciding that his heart couldn't take any more of the adorable gestures of the kitten he grabbed him by the scruff and picked him up into a sitting position. The kitten opened his eyes and looked up at Kakuzu meowing lightly probably asking something like, 'what did you do that for?'.

"I cant understand you…" responded Kakuzu as the kitten stared at him. Hidan shifted back into a kid. The little kid was now butt naked sitting on the shirt that Kakuzu had lent him. Without saying anything he got up from the bed and handed Kakuzu the shirt silently asking him to put the shirt on him, "why were you sleeping on my bed?" if we're being specific it was technically his pillow.

"It got lonely and this was the place that had the strongest scent of you… I was just going to sit on your bed for a little while but before I knew it I had fallen asleep… you're not mad right?" the puppy – or should he rather say kitten – eyes Hidan was making made Kakuzu forget what he was doing for a second.

"I'm not mad, I was just worried that you had gone somewhere; when I got home I couldn't find you…" Kakuzu rubbed the back of his neck as he looked up to the ceiling.

"Really!" Hidan was grinning like a madman, he was incredibly happy.

"Yes really, I'm glad you didn't set my apartment on fire either. Good job." Hidan pouted at that comment, of course he hadn't, he was a good boy and he had obeyed what Kakuzu had said, "Let's go eat lunch, I have to leave soon." Hidan made a saddened and confused face at that.

"Wait, so you're not going to stay?" he thought Kakuzu had returned from work to stay with him for the rest of the day.

"I can't, right now I'm on my lunch break; I have to go back before my time is up." The face Hidan was making made him feel awful; it was just momentary so why did Hidan look so heart broken.

~.~.~.~

"Oh…" Hidan stood silent as he followed Kakuzu to the kitchen, "Will you come back later then?" asked Hidan once he sat down and grabbed his cup noodles.

"Yup, I won't leave after that." Kakuzu blew into his noodles, "oh wait, actually I will, I need to buy you clothes and buy food. Say, were you serious about the cat food?" Hidan was sad to hear that Kakuzu would leave him and wouldn't come back home unless he was finished buying things but hearing about cat food caught his attention.

"Well honestly that sounds kind of gross, since humans don't eat it, but I've never had it so I'm guessing it might taste good – since cats still eat it…" Hidan was playing with his noodles, he really didn't want Kakuzu to leave him… but he had to go back to his job so he couldn't do anything to stop him, he had a feeling that Kakuzu would get mad at him if he did something stupid.

"Then I'll just buy us both regular food, I have no use for cat food and if you don't like it it'll be a waste of money…" Kakuzu started eating as he watched Hidan play with his food.

"Can I go buy things with you?" Hidan had never gone to any stores, he wanted to see what was so special about them and how they had all those things people wanted.

"I can't bring you with me to the store." Hidan was take aback by that response, he was expecting a yes or a simple no.

"Why not?" Kakuzu wasn't expecting Hidan to ask why, there were lots of answers to that question but there was one that he knew would make Hidan understand.

"Do you remember those ladies that tried to take you to the orphanage?" Hidan scowled at the memory. How could he forget those ugly mean ladies…

"Yeah…" Hidan's expression was lightly amusing.

"Well, if they see you at the store only wearing a shirt they'll take you away from me and take you to an orphanage, not only will you be gone but I'll get in trouble for not dressing you properly and it'll be a mess." He didn't ne child protection services on his ass now that he had moved somewhere to get a fresh start…

"Oh." Hidan stabbed some noodles with his fork, "That sucks."

"Right." Kakuzu was glad that the kid had understood.

"What if I turn into a cat?" or maybe not…

"They don't allow pets at stores, they only allow them if they are for therapy." Kakuzu didn't expect Hidan to know what therapy meant but he guessed it sounded important enough for Hidan to stop asking questions and maybe shut up and eat his noodles instead of playing with them.

"Can't we pretend you need that therapy thingy?" Kakuzu's eyebrow twitched. The nerve of this kid..

"No." there was nothing wrong with Kakuzu so he didn't need therapy of any kind. It's very disrespectful to pretend to need a therapy animal but he didn't expect Hidan to understand, it was just as bad as the people who have fake disability parking permits just because they want to be able to park in the handicap parking space.

"How about you hide me under your shirt?" he wasn't going to respond to that but Hidan was staring at him apparently waiting for an answer.

"How will that work?"

"Just pretend you have a weird lump under your shirt or something." Really now… he didn't know if Hidan was just messing with him at this point.

"If they find out that the 'weird lump under my shirt' is you they'll kick me out of the store."

"Are you making up stories because you don't want me to come with you?" nope, maybe he was jus  _really_ dumb after all…

"You really want people to beat me up, huh?" Hidan started to giggle.

"I guess not." He started to play with his fork dipping it into the cup and pulling it out as he watched the liquid drip down, "Will I ever be able to guy buy things with you?"

"Only after I buy you clothes." He never said he wasn't going to take him but at the moment he didn't have any clothes for the kid so there was no way he could take Hidan with him without being accused of neglect or some sort of child abuse.

"Yay!"

~.~.~.~

"I'll be going now, I'll see you later alright?" Kakuzu ruffled Hidan's hair as they stood by the entrance of his apartment.

"I'll behave so you need to hurry home, ok?" Kakuzu nodded as he got up from his squatting position, "I'll guard the apartment so take it easy at work, ok." It really warmed Kakuzu's heart to see that Hidan was so innocent.

"Right, you can sleep on my bed if you get lonely again until I get back." Kakuzu twisted the doorknob, "Stay away from the stove."

"I know, I know; I'm a good boy, remember?" Kakuzu chuckled.

"Right, then I'm off."

"Have fun." Hidan wasn't looking forward to staying alone again, it was boring and creepy to be alone in the apartment.

~.~.~.~

When Kakuzu got to the bar the place was busier than it had been before his lunch break, there were costumers sitting at the bar and some at the tables. The radio was playing with a popular song at a comfortable volume, it was loud enough to be heard as background music without disrupting any conversations that could be going on.

As he was walking into the bar a purple haired girl was walking out waving at Itachi. Kakuzu didn't know who she was but he assumed she was a regular costumer.

"Who was that, is she a regular costumer?"

"That was Konan, she's Pein's girlfriend." Konan owns a tattoo shop and is usually busy, she comes to visit Pein during her break. Her shop is known through the city, 'Trash Polka' style tattooing is one of her forte's making her shop stand out from other shops. Since tattooing and piercing go hand in hand she is also really good at piercing.

"Oh." They look like a good pair, thought Kakuzu to himself.

"Yeah, I'm surprised they aren't married yet; they've been together for the longest time." She's the one that pierced Pein and he helped her start her business.

"That's good. What about you, do you have a girlfriend?" Itachi felt his skin heat up, he was sure his face was at least a tinge of red. He didn't know what it was about Kakuzu but it was as if his usual cold façade would fall to shit in front of him.

"Um, something like that…" Kakuzu's eyes widened a fraction, he wasn't really expecting that. Itachi looked like a lady killer. He smiled a little seeing that he could learn a little about Itachi.

"Who's the lucky gal you're chasing after?" right about now Itachi wanted to smash his head into the counter, why the hell was he in this situation on Kakuzu's first day of work?

"They're not a girl…" and right about now Kakuzu wanted to shoot himself, he hadn't meant to make Itachi feel uncomfortable…

"Oh…"

"Yeah…" What kind of bullshit sitcom was this? One second they were talking about what a nice couple Konan and Pein made and now they were in this situation?

"I shouldn't have asked, huh…?" Itachi chewed on his lip but stayed silent, "We can pretend I didn't. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable…" so much for a good first day at work…

"It's alright, I'm just glad you didn't overreact; usually people can't be mature about it so I started to keep this piece of information to myself." Itachi chuckled and leaned on the counter, "Honestly I was worried about your reaction, since you're older I thought you might be completely against it and start getting religious or something."

"Wow, that stings." Kakuzu chuckled, "I'm old not stupid, I don't care about anything anyone does; that's their business not mine, I expect people not to care about what I do so it works out; less problems for everyone."

"Wow, what about murder?" Kakuzu's eyebrow twitched. Great way to ruin a moment.

"I was talking about sexuality, smartass." Itachi chuckled, he really liked Kakuzu; the man was full of… surprises?

"I'll tell you about that later, it's too soon for that now, did I blow your mind gramps?"

"Cool it with the name calling, I'll call you brat or baby if you insist." He was remembering Hidan calling him old man. Except he couldn't call Itachi beef jerky.

"Fine." Itachi wiped a rocks glass since he was done serving, the other bartenders were busy so he could talk with Kakuzu, "you know, you'd make a pretty good father."

"I don't think so, I like cats better." That answer had surprised even Kakuzu. He didn't dislike kids but he'd rather not take care of them; they needed too much attention and asked really weird and uncomfortable question.

"Ok, you need to stop; I'm having so many horrible ideas, the most prominent one is calling you cat lady." Of course it was…

"Are you always like this?" Kakuzu was starting to consider changing jobs…

"Not at all, this is weird; I'm usually really calm and collected and won't speak to anyone unless spoken to first…" Itachi was starting to wonder if he had something funny in the morning, "If my brother saw me like this he'd think I've been taking narcotics." Kakuzu chuckled, poor kid; was maybe nervousness making him run his mouth?

"Do you have any pets?" Changing topics seemed appropriate at the moment.

"Sasuke has a beta fish and I have a cat." Sasuke named his beta fish dobe after he bought it because he was angry at Naruto, he said he didn't need the dumbass and that the fish would be easier to deal with than the blond idiot.

"What's the cats name?" Itachi really didn't want to answer that question.

"Dammit…"

"What?" had Itachi just sworn for no reason?

"That's his name…" Well this was just as awkward as Itachi had imagined it to be.

"Care to explain?"

"Deidara gave me the cat for my birthday but he had already given it the name for me, he said it'd be funny to yell 'dammit get back in the house!' and things like that, and it was for a while but now it's just kind of embarrassing…" Itachi's face heated up and he was sure he was red, again, "Sasuke said it was a bad idea and that I should rename the cat but Deidara insisted and now the name is stuck…"

"Wow, nice name. Now you know not to listen to this Deidara guy when you name things, don't let him name his children."

"Yeah, no kidding." Itachi chuckled, "What about you, what did you name your cat?"

"I'd rather not say…" Now it was Kakuzu's turn to feel somewhat embarrassed.

"Mine was embarrassing but I still told you so spit it out." Itachi definitely wanted to hear this, that way they'd be even.

"I named him money…" Itachi was expect something worse, "And when he's being annoying I call him beef jerky." Itachi was sure there was a story to the reason behind that but their shift was almost over.

"I was expecting something more embarrassing, what a let down…"

"It's still pretty bad, I'm guessing you went numb to bad cat names since yours is named 'Dammit'."

"That's probably right, what are you doing after work?"

"I'm going shopping for some food and clothes; what about you?"

"I'm going home to cook dinner for Sasuke since he gets out of school around that time."

"Did he move out with you?"

"No, I'm his guardian until he turns eighteen in a few months, our parents passed away three years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that, I should probably shut up; I'm bringing up topics that I'm sure are uncomfortable for you."

"It's fine." Itachi rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "Somehow our conversation is cathartic in a sense."

"So you younger brother Sasuke is senior in high school?"

"Yeah, I don't know if he will stay with me after he turns eighteen or if he'll run out the door the first chance he gets."

"Is he going through a rebellious phase?"

"He has been, ever since our parents passed away."

"Sounds rough."

"I'm glad Naruto was there for Sasuke, he refused to talk to me about it but he opened up to Naruto thankfully."

"Are they childhood friends?"

"Actually yeah, the funny thing was that Sasuke used to hate Naruto when they were younger."

"Sounds like most children."

"Reminds me of how me and Deidara became friends…" Itachi looked at the clock, their shift would be over in about two minutes, "But that is a story for another time." Itachi smiled at Kakuzu as he hung up his apron. Kakuzu followed suit and soon more people started coming in. Pein left his office to send off his workers. While that happened Itachi disappeared off to somewhere else.

"Good work today guys, see you tomorrow." Pein was answered in a similar manner. Before Kakuzu left he was approached by Pein, "How was your first day at work?" Kakuzu was kind of surprised by Pein's friendly approach.

"Really great, Itachi was very helpful; I'm looking forward to tomorrow."

"I'm glad to hear that, tomorrow work starts at ten, I only asked you to come to work early because of the orientation Itachi gave you."

"I see, well I won't be taking any more of your time, see you tomorrow."

"Enjoy your evening."

"Thank you." As Kakuzu was about to leave Itachi came back wearing his casual attire; black jeans with a navy colored shirt and a black hoodie; he was wearing navy canvas shoes instead of the white sneakers he was using while working.

~.~.~.~

"Hey Kakuzu wait up," Kakuzu stopped in his tracks waiting for the raven to catch up, "Are you going home or shopping first?"

"Shopping, then home."

"How about we go shopping together?"

"Huh?"

"I need to buy some groceries, I'm almost out of food at home."

"I'm new to this city so I think I'd be really helpful if I go with you."

"Do you mind if we take my car."

"Not at all."

"Great, then lets got going." As they were walking out the door a blond passed next to them.

"Bye Itachi, see ya later, un!" Kakuzu could've sworn that was a woman but after hearing that deep voice he was having second thoughts.

"Behave yourself today and say hi to Kisame for me."

"Gotcha, un."

"That was Deidara, you know, the one that named my cat for me." Kakuzu chuckled at the memory.

"Strangely he seems like he would, I wasn't expecting for him to look like that but now that I've seen him it's fitting."

"Oh yeah, and forgot to mention he's an art nut; when you talk to him stay away from the art subjects."

"I'll keep that in mind."


	5. Bar

Hidan was extremely bored, he didn't know what was taking Kakuzu so long to get home. It had been forever since he had come home for lunch. It was killing him to wait so much. He had literally explored anything there was to explore, climbed on top of every piece of furniture and even tried climbing the walls – which resulted in failure unless you counted him climbing the curtains successfully. He had tried hiding under the couch and inside Kakuzu's drawers but the brunette wouldn't come looking for him.

What was taking him so long?!

~.~.~.~

"What size clothes should I get?" asked Kakuzu as he examined clothes at the toddler section.

"How old is he?" asked Itachi as he was distracted looking through toddler clothes as he remember little Sasuke.

"About six years old." Kakuzu moved to another section as he was sure that Hidan was bigger than a toddler.

"Then maybe this one, kids grow pretty quickly; its better to get them clothes that are a size bigger so they can grow into them, it saves you money and makes their clothes last longer." Itachi moved to the proper section and gave Kakuzu a shirt. Kakuzu nodded and picked clothes from that section.

…

"Hey lets go to the pet aisle." Kakuzu looked up to Itachi as he was choosing some shorts for Hidan, "You said you have a cat right? Have you bought Beef Jerky any toys?" it was weird hearing someone else say the name he had given Hidan, it was completely ridiculous… maybe he should have named him something less… awkward.

"I guess I haven't." Kakuzu put the shorts into the cart and they proceeded to walk to towards the pet isle.

"Then lets go, I need to buy more fish food for Dobe and a new toy for Dammit." Kakuzu had to hold in a chuckle, he couldn't believe how his friend had named the cat that way and how his little brother had done the same.

"Wow, you really have gotten used to that name."

…

"How about this laser pointer?" Kakuzu had no idea what he was doing, he'd rather Hidan chose something he would like to play with.

"Just choose something you won't get tired of playing with. Whatever you choose he'll love, but you are the one that has to use it to play with him so choose something you like." Yet again, Kakuzu had no idea what he was doing so he chose to try to get some sort of direction from Itachi.

"What does your cat like?"

"This little mouse." Itachi grabbed a small grey mouse toy, "It makes noise and has a motion sensor so you don't always have to be the one using it, your cat can play on its own; that is if you don't mind the squeaky noise."

"I guess I'll take that and the laser pointer." Kakuzu added both items to the shopping cart.

"Do you have cat food."

"Yeah." He didn't but Itachi didn't need to know that, it wasn't like he was starving Hidan or something.

~.~.~.~

"I didn't know they sold small crabs." Kakuzu and Itachi where in the fish isle since Itachi was going to buy fish food.

"They sell different fish depending on the season, right now crabs are in season; they're selling tropical fish right now, like puffer fish." Itachi started at the fish through the glass, "I really want it to puff up for some reason."

"Are you sure you don't have late stage ADHD?" Itachi removed his index finger from the glass.

"I don't know, I haven't really gone to the doctor for that, so far the only health issues I know I have is that I'm going blind." His eyesight kept getting worse, the doctor had said it was something hereditary.

"So you have sight problems?"

"Yeah, I'm wearing contacts right now." That was probably the reason Itachi's eyes seemed a little too dark.

"Your eyesight is deteriorating instead of improving?" that shouldn't be happening if he was taking care of his eyes, right?

"It was for a while, I'm scared about getting the surgery so I'm getting medication for it."

"Like pills?"

"No I have eye-drops, their only side effect is that it makes my eyelashes longer." That seemed to be a rather good side effect compared to what it could actually be.

"Not a bad side effect."

"I guess it isn't, but now I get awkward questions from some girls though."

"What do you mean." So attention from the girls came in weird ways too?

"The girls always ask if I have great eyelash genetics or if I have a secret. After I tell them about the eye-drops they ask me to give them some but I have to decline. Some are really persistent so it gets annoying."

"So the medicine comes with more unstated side effects."

"Yup." Itachi grabbed some fish food from one of the shelves and placed it in the cart. He looked at the floor before he came up with a stupid idea for changing the topic. He looked up at Kakuzu fluttering his long and pretty black eyelashes, "Do you think my eyelashes are pretty?" Kakuzu made an unimpressed face and ruffled Itachi's hair.

"Does Sasuke neglect you at home or something?" Kakuzu started pushing the cart subtly leaving Itachi behind.

"Yes… now, why are you so serious? We're not at work anymore so there's no need for you to be so stiff." Itachi caught up with Kakuzu.

"It's not that, its just that I don't have ADHD." Kakuzu chuckled seeing Itachi make a face.

"You should try it some time." Itachi smirked and walked faster ahead of Kakuzu.

"Kid I'm in my forties, my time for fucking around is way past; I'm an adult not a kid."

"No matter your age you can still be a kid at heart and no one ever said you had to be a serious adult; there's a time for playing and time for working, work is over now play!"

"Were you bullied as a child?" Itachi was starting to get used to Kakuzu's sarcasm.

"No, now stop saying mean things." Kakuzu rolled his eyes and smiled lightly, "Is that all we're getting?"

"I already got everything I was going to get, what about you?"

"Same here."

~.~.~.~

"Where do you live?" asked Itachi as he placed the bags on the back seats of his car, they hadn't bought many things so there really wasn't much need to use the trunk of the car.

"Just head back by the bar and I'll tell you where to go from there." That was a kind of weird answer but Itachi didn't question it.

"Alright." Itachi closed the passenger door and got in the car ready to start driving. They both strapped on their seatbelts and Itachi started the car.

…

"Wow, you live somewhat close to the bar."

"It's convenient."

"Lets go shopping together some other time, it was fun." Kakuzu wasn't sure if shopping was something that was considered fun but he would be lying if he said he hadn't enjoyed Itachi's company.

"Sounds good."

"Alright, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, thanks for everything by the way."

"No problem."

~.~.~.~

Kakuzu stuck the key into the lock somewhat forcefully as he was having trouble unlocking the door and holding onto all of the bags. It made more sense to just put the bags down and then open the door but he had already started that way so, why change it?

As he finally managed to get the door open he almost tripped inside from the force he had used to push the door open. Just as he had thought once he turned on the lights the living room looked completely empty, Hidan was nowhere to be seen.

He closed the door behind him and locked it; the house seemed too empty for his liking for some reason which was strange because he was used to living alone. As he set the bags on the kitchen table he looked around to see if Hidan had shown up.

Seeing that Hidan wasn't there he decided to go search for the little fur ball, this time he didn't waste any time and headed for his room since that would be the place where Hidan was most likely to be.

When he opened the door and turned on the lights he saw Hidan sleeping in the same spot he had found him the first time he had looked for him. He was in his kitten form again but this time the idiot was sleeping somewhat upside down. Kakuzu sat on the bed and picked him up from the pillow, sitting him up. He rubbed the back of Hidan's ear with his index finger and Hidan immediately started purring.

"Hidan, I'm home." Kakuzu talked gently trying to wake Hidan of his slumber. The kitten released a low meow and went back to purring, seeing that maybe Hidan wanted to keep sleeping Kakuzu set him back on the pillow and go up from the bed, "I'm going to make us dinner." With that said Kakuzu was abut to walk out the door when suddenly Hidan bolted off the bed and ran to him. He climbed Kakuzu's pant leg and started meowing and purring. Kakuzu removed the little fur ball from his leg – since his small claws were starting to dig into his leg – and put him on the floor.

"I can't understand you." Said Kakuzu out loud as he smiled at the hyper little kitten. Without a second thought Hidan changed into his human form and hugged Kakuzu.

"I missed you so much! It was so boring and scary here! Did you know there's a man upstairs that screams a lot and yells die for no reason?! It was so scary, I had to sleep in you room because of how loud he is. Why are you back so late!?" Hidan was ranting and Kakuzu found it cute and somewhat amusing, "are you listening to everything I'm telling you?" Hidan removed his face from Kakuzu's stomach and looked up to see Kakuzu's face, "You're not responding to anything I'm saying…"

"Its because you're talking too fast and keep on saying more and more things…"

"Oh… do you know the man who yells upstairs?"

"No I don't, but don't be scared, he's probably just playing videogames."

"What is your job?"

"I'm a bartender."

"Oh, why do you-"

"How about you put on the shirt I gave you and come the kitchen with me and I'll answer all you questions?" it seemed like a better idea than staying in the room.

"Ok." Hidan walked to the bed to get his shirt and handed it took Kakuzu, "Can you put it on me, please?"

"Alright, put your arms up." Hidan did as he was told and soon he was wearing a dress again…

"Its kind of embarrassing to have you dress me so don't worry, I'll practice how to put on my shirt." With that said Hidan walked out the room and headed to the kitchen. When Kakuzu caught up to him Hidan was already sitting at the table and was kicking his legs back and forth, "Kakuzu are you smart?" Kakuzu wasn't expecting Hidan to start by asking him that kind of question but he did say he would answer his questions.

"I guess I am."

"What is the meaning of our existence?" Kakuzu made an unimpressed face as he looked at Hidan. Hidan just innocently fluttered his eyelashes at Kakuzu. Deciding to just play along Kakuzu picked up one of the plastic bags on the table and started putting away the food he had bought.

"I guess it's just to do whatever we want."

"What if we don't want anything?"

"Then stop existing." Kakuzu closed the fridge's door rather harshly trying to get his point across.

"You're mean, you know that?" Kakuzu held in the grin that was tugging at the corners of his lips the best he could.

"So I've been told." Kakuzu grabbed another bag and started putting more food away.

"Why is the sky blue?"

"Because as the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth's surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particles in the air, this light is scattered in every direction, thus making our sky blue."

"I don't know what any of that means… why is the sea blue?"

"Same reason."

"Why are you so tall?"

"My dad is big foot."

"Really?"

"No, its either because of my genes or because I like drinking milk, maybe both."

"So if you take off your pants you're short?"

"No, my jeans are what I'm wearing, my genes or genetics is what makes me be me."

"So I don't have jeans to wear but I have genes that make me be me too?"

"Yes."

"Why are we different?"

"Because we have different genes."

"How come you're eyes are a completely different from mine?"

"Because you're albino and I'm not."

"Why am I albino."

"Because there was a mutation in your genes."

"Am I going to die?"

"Why do you ask weird questions?"

"So I am, huh?"

"No, now stop asking weird questions. Why cant you be like a normal kid and ask dumb questions that don't relate to death or genetics?"

"I don't know, I'm not normal." Kakuzu was really close to start hitting his head against the wall, "why do you take so long to come home?"

"Because I have to work and I went shopping with a friend."

"Am I your friend?"

"Sure."

"Is it normal to be this short?"

"For you, yes."

"Why do you have long hair if you're a man?"

"Because I can. You know what, how about we play the quiet game?" the kid wouldn't seem to be able to shut up any time soon and seemed to like asking rather uncomfortable questions.

"How do you play that?"

"We both are quiet and the first one to talk loses."

"That sounds boring."

"Is it because you think you can't win?"

"I can win."

"No, you probably can't."

"Yes I can."

"Then prove it."

"Alright."

"Alright, ready, set, start." Hidan for some reason took a deep breath and puffed up his cheeks, Kakuzu thought this was funny but decided to ignore it and opted for putting the rest of the things he had bought away. About a minute passed before Hidan opened his mouth.

"When can we talk?"

"You lost."

"Dang it!" there was no way Hidan was going down like this and there was no way the old man was right, "Again!" he would definitely win this time.

"Ready, set, start." Hidan for some reason did the same thing again. Since he was done putting all of the food away Kakuzu took out two small pots, one to boil pasta in, and the other to boil vegetables.

~.~.~.~

Kakuzu had managed to boil both the pasta and the vegetables before the albino finally broke.

"How can you be so quiet?!" Hidan dropped his head on the table, "You're a crazy old man…" his voice was muffled by the table that was pressing against his cheek.

"And you're a loud little beef jerky."

"Lets do it again, I can win this time."

"Alright, this is your last chance though."

"Yeah, I'll win this time."

"Sure…ready, set, start." Hidan sneaked off to the living room and Kakuzu just assumed that it was Hidan's strategy to win the game. Maybe he had a stupid plan that went along the lines of 'if I can't see Kakuzu I won't feel like talking to him' or something like that.

~.~.~.~

Hidan had no idea what he was doing but he knew he had to do something to make Kakuzu talk before he did. Maybe he could scare him or something, did screaming count? It was the quiet game and if he screamed it would no longer be quiet so he guessed it did. He didn't know what Kakuzu was scared of though.

Maybe he could sneak outside and find a roach… was he scared of roaches? He could throw it Kakuzu. Should he play dead? It was mean but maybe Kakuzu would cry and Hidan would win.

Hidan didn't want to go outside for a roach though… maybe playing dead was a good idea. Oh wait, jump scares are still scares. Maybe Kakuzu would be startled and scream. Well it didn't hurt to try… hopefully...

In the end Hidan decided to jump scare Kakuzu. He shifted back into a cat and walked near the kitchen to peek at what Kakuzu was doing, Kakuzu's back was facing him as the man was washing his hands in the sink. Hidan sneaked behind Kakuzu and shifted back into his human form.

"Don't even think about it…" warned Kakuzu before he turned the cold water nob and ceased the flow of water. He stepped to the side and walked to the stove where he dried his hands on a kitchen towel, he grabbed two plates and set the table, "Put on the shirt I gave you and wash your hands." Hidan had won the quiet game but he wasn't happy. What kind of win was that supposed to be? He wanted to startle Kakuzu and maybe get yelled at, not just get mildly scolded and receive an order... how boring.

He shifted back into a cat and went to the living room to put on his shirt. He put it on backwards on purpose to see if Kakuzu would notice. He washed his hands and made his way to the table. Kakuzu had already served the both of them and was waiting for Hidan to sit down to begin eating.

"Thanks for the food." Hidan was about to eat a forkful of the food when suddenly he put it down.

"What's wrong? You don't like pasta?"

"Its not that, it smells really good…" Hidan looked like he was playing with his food at this point, using the fork to move it from one side of the plate to the other.

"Then what is it? You don't want vegetables?"

"I have a cats tongue; I cant handle hot food." Hidan stuck out his tongue, when Kakuzu got a closer look nothing seemed abnormal.

"Your tongue seems normal." Hidan stuck his tongue back into his mouth.

"I can control my cat features but not everything cat like." Hidan stuck out his tongue again and this time Kakuzu could see small papillae covering it.

"Hm, who would've known…" Kakuzu ate a forkful of his pasta. Part of him was wondering what it would feel like to have a tongue like that, it seemed somewhat uncomfortable.

"Did you know it feels different against skin than when its against fur?" Hidan licked the back of his palm, "Human skin is really sensitive…" Kakuzu wasn't really sure how to respond to that.

"Which do you like more? Being a cat or being a human?"

"I like both, being a cat is more comfortable but if I'm human I can talk to you."

"Is your tongue why you didn't eat the soup right away?"

"Yeah, the water was hot but I could blow on the noodles so it wasn't that bad."

"I'll cook cold things too so you can eat them right away. Is there certain foods you can't eat or are allergic to? I heard once that certain foods are toxic for cats."

"Not as far as I know, I don't think I'm allergic to anything." Hidan stabbed a broccoli and blew on it to cool it down.

"What kinds of food have you had before?"

"Milk?"

"So that means you're not lactose intolerant?"

"I guess? I don't know what that means but I've only drunk my mom's milk until a few days ago."

"What have you eaten after that?"

"Nasty stuff?" Hidan shrugged, "Either things people fed me or bugs that I hunted." It was hard to hunt birds, besides he had just recently stopped needing his mom for milk so he probably couldn't really get anything better to eat than stupid little bugs.

"Oh."

"Pretzels taste really good."

"They're good snacks I guess."

"I really like beef jerky too, when you fed me it, it was the first time I had it."

"So, does that mean I can get it for your birthday and you'll be happy?"

"You would?" Hidan made puppy – kitten – eyes at Kakuzu and once again Kakuzu felt his heart clench at the sight.

"Dummy, I'll get you beef jerky later after work; birthdays deserve special gifts."

"What kind of special gifts?"

"First you get a cake, then it depends on the kind of things you like."

"So cake and beef jerky?" Kakuzu made an unimpressed face.

"I guess it'll be a surprise then…"

"No, wait! Tell me! I hate surprises!" Hidan started swinging his feet back and forth under the table, "Once I was walking around and suddenly a cricket jumped out of nowhere at me! It startled me so I killed it and ate it! What if you die?"

"So you'll kill me?" Kakuzu looked expectantly at Hidan while smirking lightly.

"By accident…"

"How?"

"What if I claw at you like I did with the cricket?"

"I guess I'll just take the risk…" Kakuzu went back to eating his vegetables.

"Wait I was bluffing! I could never kill you… can you tell me what the surprise is anyway?"

"If I tell you its not a surprise anymore…"

"I won't tell anyone…."

"Who would you tell?"

"That's not important, the important thing is that I wouldn't tell anyone." kids sure have really weird logic...

"That doesn't make me want to tell you any more than the possibility of me dying by your claws…"

"What if I told you something nobody else knows?"

"It depends on what it is."

"The neighbor who screams a lot gets yelled at by his mom on the phone because he still isn't married and because he doesn't have a proper job." Kakuzu somewhat cringed to that, its not like he was unemployed but he definitely wasn't married and that was pretty bad for how old he was – well it depends on who you asked but most mothers would probably be worried about it.

"I'm not telling you what the surprise is; also stop listening to the neighbor."

"Why?"

"Because the neighbor is weird and scary right?"

"Well, he does scream…"

"See? Now eat you food, it should be cold by now." Kakuzu didn't now what was wrong with Hidan, were all kids this weird?


	6. Clean Up

"Are you done eating?" asked Kakuzu as he got up from his seat and put his plate in the sink.

"Yup." Hidan got up as well and walked to Kakuzu with his plate.

"Do you want more? There's still a bit more left over." Asked Kakuzu as he took the plate from Hidan's small hands.

"Nope, I'm full. I'll only eat if you eat." Hidan smiled as he looked at Kakuzu with large violet eyes.

"Alright, head to the bathroom while I quickly wash these dishes and put away the leftovers." Hidan stared at Kakuzu as he stood in his spot.

"Do you need help with something?" asked Hidan as he played with his hands nervously.

"Not right now, enjoy it. Soon you'll be complaining about having to wash dishes." Kakuzu ruffled Hidan's hair before he nudged him in the direction of the bathroom.

"But I can help! I'm a big boy!" Kakuzu had to stifle a chuckle.

"Sure you are…"

"I am!" Hidan pulled up the long sleeves of the baggy shirt and flexed his arms, "Look at these muscles! They're just like yours!" Kakuzu bit the inside of his cheek, the kid was so scrawny it wasn't even funny.

How was he even comparing his non-existent muscles to his? Why was he comparing them? He was just washing dishes. There was no need for him to pull out his non-existent guns.

"Ok, calm down before you pop something important." Kakuzu looked around before he saw bits of food on the table, "Hey, how about you help me by cleaning our mess in the table?" only Hidan had made a mess, he just didn't want the small kid to feel bad.

"Alright, but only because you asked me to." Hidan was going to be the death of him. Seriously, who ever said shit like that? He was way too adorable.

Hidan pulled up his sleeves again before he started picking up pieces of soup and put them on his palm. After he was done he walked to the trash can and threw away the pieces of vegetables and soup away. While Hidan was doing that Kakuzu had already finished washing the dishes and had already put away the food.

"Done!" declared Hidan as he waved his hands in the air, they were dirty from the sauce from the soup.

"Come wash your hands real quick." Kakuzu gestured the small albino to the sink where he picked him up and held him, "Use that soap right there." Hidan grabbed the soap and poured a generous amount in his hands.

The boy sloppily tried to rub the soap on his hands; Kakuzu being as impatient as he was decided to just turn on the water and wash the albino kid's hands.

"Hey I can do it myself!" protested Hidan but before he knew it Kakuzu had already finished and had put him down after turning off the water.

"I know, but I just helped you out because you helped me too remember?"

"Oh yeah, I did huh?" Hidan smiled as he played with his wet hands.

"Of course." Kakuzu started walking towards his room after ruffling Hidan's hair, "Now go to the bathroom, I'll be right there in a second." He couldn't get enough of the little brat.

He walked to his room to get a towel and a mesh sponge. When he found those things he looked through his shirts to find one for Hidan. After picking a red t-shirt he walked towards the bathroom where Hidan was supposed to be waiting for him.

"What took you so long?" asked Hidan with a pout as he looked up at Kakuzu accusingly. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow at the albino's behavior.

"I only left for a bit." It was the first time he had seen Hidan so assertive but in some sort of clingy way. It was slightly strange if not amusing.

"You said you would be here in a second." There was a cute pout adorning his face and Kakuzu felt like pinching the small boys cheeks.

This felt so out of character, ever since he encountered the small child he started becoming soft. Is this what being a parent felt like? Suddenly having a soft spot for someone felt strange.

"I didn't mean it literally; it would take me much longer than a second to find everything I needed."

"What are we doing in the bathroom anyway?" Hidan quickly had forgotten he was upset at the brunette.

"I'm giving you a bath."

"What's a bath?" Hidan had no idea about the things Kakuzu talked about sometimes.

"Something people do to get cleaned."

"I don't need one of those; my mom taught me how to clean myself already." Hidan did a pretty good job himself if he did say so himself.

"Since you want to live more as a human than a cat you'll have to take baths, it won't be enough to just clean yourself like cats do." Hidan pouted at the statement.

"How come?" Kakuzu had no idea why Hidan wouldn't just do what he said, but then again it was a good quality in the boy.

"Because as a human you can get dirtier than you probably would as a cat."

"I guess you're right…"

"Alright, take off the shirt." Hidan suddenly developed a cheeky grin.

"I thought you said I wasn't supposed to be naked~…" The little albino giggled after saying such thing and looked at Kakuzu in an annoying smartass way.

"You're not supposed to, but this is a bath; you need to get clean and the clothes get in the way." Part of Kakuzu didn't want to deal with bathing Hidan but he knew he had to help the young boy develop good habits.

"Well since you explained so nicely I'll listen." Kakuzu had a feeling Hidan might not grow out of those cheeky smiles or smirks; not that he really minded them, they were starting to grow on him.

Hidan quickly removed the shirt happy to finally be free from the constricting clothing, he couldn't really get used to it, no matter how much he really loved the way it smelled like the brunette.

"Get in the tub." Kakuzu helped the brunette into the tub and turned on the water, he turned the hot and cold water knobs simultaneously making sure the water was warm. When Hidan felt the water land on him he quickly jumped away from the water.

"What the heck?" the small albino moved to a corner of the tub as he wrapped his arms around himself.

"What?" asked Kakuzu unsure about why Hidan had shied away from the water. It couldn't possibly be true that every cat is afraid of water.

"Why didn't you tell me water was going to come out?" Hidan looked slightly alarmed as he held himself in the corner.

"What else were you expecting?" asked Kakuzu; this kid was seriously exhausting. He didn't know how long he would be able to survive while he kept the albino.

"I don't know, just not that. It feels weird, like rain but nothing is protecting me." Hidan moved close to the stream coming out of the faucet in the tub and placed his hand on it, "Its warm instead of cold… it's strange." Hidan let his fingers play with the water. He had thought that washing his hands had been weird at first but maybe this was even weirder.

"Sit down." Hidan listened to what Kakuzu said and hesitantly sat down, not sure what to expect would happen. He shuddered at the feeling of water on his butt but said nothing, it was obvious by his facial expression that he was uncomfortable, "Stop making that face, it's not that bad."

Hidan nodded and tried to make some sort of face that somehow was supposed to look relieved or something but just ended making a constipated face. Kakuzu had to hold in his laughter; at least the boy was trying so he couldn't say anything.

He grabbed the shampoo with conditioner from a shelf above Hidan, the albino had no idea what was going to happen next. He just played along and patiently waited as the water was running warming up his body. It was really strange but he could definitely get used to this feeling; it felt like rain but not actually bad since it was warm, it was a feeling he couldn't describe, not having fur changed the way he felt things completely.

Kakuzu poured a generous amount of soap onto his palms and rubbed the soap until foam formed. He knew he probably shouldn't be thinking about such things while he was bathing a child, but he couldn't help it as memories of bathing his dog resurfaced. He remembered doing this but with the exception of being outside and using a hose, he couldn't bathe his dog inside, if his father were to find out he would've beat him black and blue. He remembered the way his dog trembled against his hands from being wet and cold from the breeze, but the dog listened to him and let him wash him without any complaint, what he hated the most at the time but missed now was how after he was done the dog would shake itself from all of the excess water and end up splashing him.

When Kakuzu snapped out of his trance he realized that his hands were still covered in soap and that Hidan was still patiently waiting. In the heat of the moment he began to contemplate the idea of getting a dog. Would it be weird for a cat to own a dog?

"Close your eyes." Hidan obediently listened and closed his eyes, "Don't open them no matter what, trust me if you do it'll hurt if you do." Hidan nodded and said nothing, Kakuzu proceeded to place his hands on the boys head and started massaging his scalp with the bubbly substance.

Hidan wanted to purr badly but no noise would come out, it felt nice to have Kakuzu touch him affectionately. He had missed the brunette badly all day and now he was glad to have him all to himself, he would listen to anything the brunette would say if it would always be as rewarding as this.

Kakuzu noticed the change in the boy's attitude almost instantly, his expression had softened just from the contact of his hands on his silver locks. He even rubbed his head against his hands slightly. Kakuzu was almost sure the boy was doing it unconsciously but he didn't say anything, it wasn't like he minded.

Kakuzu continued to lather the boy's hair. Taking care of Hidan gave him this feeling of affection he couldn't get used to. He ducked Hidan's head under the faucet and rinsed his hair from all the foam while being careful of not letting water get in his ears. He felt Hidan stiffen a bit from his head being in such proximity with the water but the boy said nothing and just focused on keeping his eyes closed.

After he finished he let Hidan go, "You can open your eyes now." Hidan opened his eyes and blinked a bit from the water running down his face; this was definitely something new.

He couldn't help but to want to lick at the water. Kakuzu saw this and chuckled but made no comment. This kid was surely very strange.

"Is that it?" asked Hidan as he looked up at Kakuzu who was grabbing his body wash.

"We need to wash your body." Kakuzu grabbed the mesh sponge and dipped it under the stream running out of the faucet, he put a copious amount of body wash on the sponge and soon he made bubbles from as he rubbed the sponge. Hidan was looking at him attentively, "Give me your arm." Hidan gave him a weird look but didn't question the brunette and complied with the request.

Kakuzu grabbed the albino's arm and started scrubbing, Hidan felt funny. This was stupid and unnecessary to him.

"What is all of this for anyway?" asked Hidan bored as Kakuzu scrubbed his arm thoroughly.

"If you don't wash up everyday you'll start smelling like butt." Hidan giggled and shrugged.

"What's so bad about smelling like butt? Bathing like this is unnecessary." Hidan handed his other arm to Kakuzu when the brunette motioned for him to switch arms.

"Well in that case go ahead and smell like butt." Hidan smiled, this was the second time he had heard Kakuzu say butt, "But, if you smell like butt I won't be able to take you with me. Oh well, such is fate." Hidan pulled his arm away from Kakuzu.

"What do you mean?" He looked so shocked it was almost comical, but for the sake of teaching the small brat a lesson Kakuzu kept a straight face.

"First of all, people who don't bathe smell unpleasant." Kakuzu took Hidan's arm again and began to scrub it once more, "second of all, I can't take you to the store if you don't bathe because like I said before I'll get in trouble, I'll be blamed of child neglect or something." Kakuzu began to scrub Hidan's back.

"Then I change my mind, I want to bathe." Kakuzu chuckled, Hidan was so simple at times.

"Good, give me your leg now." Kakuzu scrubbed Hidan's white chicken legs, he was really skinny.

He paid extra attention to his knees. Since Hidan had nothing to do he started playing with the running water and started splashing around making bubbles and just messing around. It was going to be a pain to clean up afterwards but he was glad to see Hidan being so happy.

…

"Alright, put up your arms now." Hidan did as he was told and Kakuzu wrapped a towel around his small frame. He helped him out of the tub and walked him to the spare room – which by now was obviously going to be his.

Kakuzu opened the door and led Hidan in, "Now what?"

"You need to get dressed and I need to dry your hair." Hidan stood waiting for Kakuzu to do something. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's towel and dried him, then he gave him the red t-shirt to put on.

He quickly went to the kitchen and grabbed the bags that had the clothes he had bought for Hidan. When he returned he placed the bag on the bed and looked through it until he found the pack of underwear he had bought for him.

"What are those for?" asked Hidan as he saw Kakuzu holding tight-y white-y's in his left hand.

"For you to put on?" Hidan tilted his head to a side wondering where those would go, since they had like three holes, "raise your leg up a bit." Hidan lifted his right leg a bit not completely knowing what was going on.

When Kakuzu put on one part of the underwear on him he caught on, "Your other leg now." Hidan did as he was told but once the underwear was completely on he made a face.

"This is really uncomfortable…" Kakuzu quirked an eyebrow.

"You have to wear underwear, at least during the day; I can't tell you anything about sleeping naked because I sleep naked but you need to wear underwear under your clothes."

"Why?" Kakuzu didn't know why he told things to the kid if he always questioned him.

"Well, imagine I take you with me shopping." Hidan's eyes brightened quickly from the brunette's words, "But then while we're shopping your pants slip and everyone sees your butt."

Hidan made a horrified face, "They'll kick us out of the store and they'll take me to jail for child neglect."

"Really?" asked Hidan still stupefied.

"No." Hidan made an annoyed face, "It's not that bad, but it will be embarrassing and in that case I'd rather not take you to the store with me."

"Fine, I'll wear the underwear tomorrow. But you have too many rules."


End file.
